Peer Review on Violence in Inner Cities

You do a great job of setting the tone of the argument and providing key examples to help support your claims about violence in inner cites.Your personal examples really help to strengthen the ethos of your essay. Small issues like run-on sentences and contractions take away from the paper and make it feel too informal. Your paper also lacked references to your sources throughout the main body. By including the names of the authors and the sources themselves, it gives you a better platform to create an analysis of the arguments the authors are making. The inclusion of rather emotional examples speak to the ethos of the paper which is great! However, you should try and look at other rhetorical devices and try to relate them to your articles. There is a distinct lack of analysis for your sources. By adding a comparison paragraph of your sources, you could strengthen your paper. This could be about how well each source executes their arguments, how well they utilize ethos or how they do not. The paper itself feels more like an op-ed about violence in inner cities and you cite plenty of evidence, but the assignment is about rhetorically analyzing sources, so you need to shift the focus towards that. You should use your thesis as a guideline and reminder about what you want to accomplish in each paragraph. In your conclusion  you should also reflect the the thesis statement and what you accomplished in this essay.